Being Irrational
by Swa-Sa Masou
Summary: I kind of hate Blue's character and I love Adam. I love Adam and Blue together. I also kind of hate Gansey. Fic of how I wish Adam's homecoming after the weekend in DC had gone.


_**A/N: So, I kind of hate Blue's character and I think she was completely unfair to Adam, my favorite character so far. I'm also not the biggest fan of Gansey. This is how I wanted Adam's homecoming with Blue after the weekend with the Ganseys.**_

"Why won't you kiss me?" Adam knew it sounded small and as soon as he said it, part of him wished he could take it back. But he wanted a relationship with Blue, a real relationship, and while he had never really had a good view of what that was from his parents, he knew you had to at least be attracted to the person on a physical level.

Blue's face showed that she clearly was unhappy with this being the first thing he said to her upon reaching 300 Fox Way. "Are you kidding me, Adam? You come back from a weekend away where some serious stuff happened to you and that is the first thing you say to me? No talking about fighting with your best friend, no telling me that you went _missing_ for _hours_ , not explaining how you have a car now, not even telling me what the parties were like? I wouldn't even know some of that happened if Gansey hadn't told me!" She flopped down on her bed in frustration.

He thought about backing down, he really did. He was also fighting an image from Cabeswater, however, and he just didn't seem capable of fighting this urge and that vision at the same time. "Blue, I want to know. No, I need to know. You're my girlfriend and I think I have a right to know as well."

Blue let out a short laugh. "Girlfriend? How about friend-friend first? You don't even treat me like that, let alone a girlfriend."

Ignoring the flip in his stomach at hearing Blue actually say the word, his voice rose without him meaning it to, " _I_ don't treat _you_ like a girlfriend? How do you figure that?" He pushed his temper down. He didn't need to lose control like he had at his place. He didn't need to send any of Blue's possessions flying across the room.

She shot up from the bed and was in his face faster than seemed possible. "How do I figure that? Tell me something, dear _boyfriend_ ," this time the use of an intimate word did nothing to excite him and he felt his stomach sink as she spat the word at him like it was full of poison. "If I were Ronan, or even Noah, would you have started the conversation with something so stupid? No, you would've started telling me about the _important things that happened to you._ "

"This is important, Blue. I know you probably think it's just some teenage boy horniness or something, but there is a reason I want to know. I care about you, Blue, okay? I like you, a lot." He reached for her hand and at first, he thought it was a good sign that she didn't yank it out of his grasp, then he realized it was more of the shock of the moment, but he held fast as she did move to step back. "I think this could be going somewhere, but I need to know that you think so too. The fact that you won't kiss me means that everything important that happened to me doesn't matter. If I can't share that this bothers me, then why should I share the bigger stuff with you?"

He finally let her hand drop and she took a large step away from him. "Adam, we've been over this. I've given you this answer. You just cannot kiss me. It has nothing to do with how I feel about you, you just can't."

"But why can't I? Why can't I actually act like you're my girlfriend? Or is it that you don't want to be? Because if that's the case then maybe I should just leave!"

Adam started walking toward the door, hoping with each footfall that she would stop him. That she would apologize. That she would finally give him an explanation of whether or not he should even keep trying. Instead, she sat down again in a huff and muttered, "Maybe you should."

He gave her a quick, sad look before opening the bedroom door and setting off down the hall. He didn't make it far however before a small voice stopped him, "I think it's time you and I had a talk."

* * *

*Adam Waking up after his vision-quest*

That had easily been the most mentally taxing encounter of Adam's life, even counting that first trip to Cabeswater. Even counting trying to fit in with the Ganseys crowd. Even counting the fight he'd just had with Blue. Nothing compared to what Persephone had just put him through. He slowly became aware that he was waking up. He also was becoming aware of his surroundings, like that he was not in his bed, he seemed to be on a couch, but his head seemed to be lying on someone. He then became aware of fingers stroking his hair.

Blinking slowly, he forced his eyes to open. It seemed like he had been asleep far longer than he usually would have been. But suddenly he was wide awake as he realized the person to whom the fingers belonged was Blue. She hadn't noticed he was awake, however, and the movements of her hand weren't so much purposeful as an absent-minded gesture.

Adam tried to tell his muscles to sit up, but all that happened was pain coursing through his lethargic body. A small groan escaped his mouth. This startled Blue so much that she jumped, jostling his head. He heard the unmistakable sound of a book shutting and falling and her eyes met his.

"You're awake!" He tried again to sit up, and this time, with Blue's aid, he managed it.

He rubbed a hand over his face. "Yeah, how long was I out for?" Without waiting for an answer, he checked his watch, "holy crap!"

Blue giggled, "Yeah, it's been awhile. Persephone told me that you would be waking up soon, so I decided to keep you company and be here when you woke up."

Working a kink out of his neck, he recalled everything that had happened before his extended-nap. "Not that I'm ungrateful for that, but weren't we in the middle of a fight when I left? In fact, hadn't you basically just broken up with me and I was leaving before all this happened. I'm just trying to connect the dots here."

Blue looked down at her hands. "Yeah, we kind of were, but the thing about living in a house of psychics is that you never really get to keep anything to yourself. Calla and my mom had a long talk with me after Persephone took you in to do, whatever she had you doing I the reading room. I've been being irrational." She looked up and reached out to grab his hand. "I should have told you, I'm going to tell you now, and when I do you're completely obligation-free and free to leave without looking back."

Adam moved closer to her on the couch, he wasn't sure if his throat had gone dry from how long he'd been asleep or from the nature of this conversation. His pulse was racing and he was hoping she couldn't feel it in their linked hands. Blue took a deep breath. "I've been told my every psychic I've ever met that my true love is going to die if I kiss him."

Adam just sat there stunned. "Well, of everything I've thought of, and believe me, I've thought about it a lot, that was nowhere on the list." Whereas yesterday, with the conflicting emotions form Cabeswater, he would've been angry, he realized he felt in control of his mind again, and all he felt was confusion and hurt. Why would she not tell him? Did she think he couldn't handle it? "Why didn't you just tell me that?"

The look she gave him reminded him that he could definitely use some lessons in tact. "Why didn't I tell you, Adam? Let's see, yeah, that's the first thing I want to tell someone who is just starting to show interest in me. The _first time_ someone has ever shown interest in me, by the way. 'Hey, either you're my true love and I'm going to kill you if I kiss you, so I just never can or else you're not and this is pointless!' Yeah, that would go over really well."

She had a fair point. The Adam who had first come here with Gansey for a reading and then invited her on the helicopter wouldn't have handled that very well. "But every time I've asked you, you could've told me."

"Adam, each time I thought about it, I keep getting hung up on that love word. I knew that telling you would mean I had to admit to feeling like I could love you, which I don't know if I do and it ran the added risk of freaking you out."

Adam let out a humorless laugh. "Well, consider me freaked out, but not enough to leave. I don't know if I feel like I love you either, Blue, but at least I know now why you won't kiss me. Is there anything about him kissing you?"

Blue's face morphed quickly into one of pure shock and then into confusion. "No, but Adam, how in the world can my true love kiss me without me kissing him?"

Adam smiled and pulled her closer to him and kissed the top of her forehead. "Like that, Blue." It was the first real physical contact that he had with her other than a hug, and anyone could hug anyone. Blue's deep blush and small smile made his smile that much bigger and brighter. "We'll figure this out. We've got plenty of time to figure out if I am your "true love" and if there's real danger in what you've been told. Right now, though, I think I know how to bring back Cabeswater and I need to do it. I just have a feeling that something big is going to happen soon and we'll need it. You need to find Gansey and Ronan. I'll meet up with you guys when I can." He leaned forward and kissed her forehead again. "Goodbye, Blue."


End file.
